After
she woke up, a woman told her husband,
"I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl
necklace
for Valentine's day. What do you think it
means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening,
the man came home with a small package
and
gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it
- to
find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams"
|
| How many legs do you see? |
Redneck Love Pome
Roses
is red an' my neck's red too
an' you make my
lips pucker like a big plug o' chew.
If you was my
shed I'd be proud to have made ya
an' if you was
my gun, in my rack I'd display ya.
Cuz yer sleek
like a bass boat an' hotter'n fire
yer more
grippin' to me than a new set o' tires.
I'm a sad,
lovesick fool jus' a-carryin' a torch
an' I whine
like them houn' dogs that's under my porch.
Cuz you make my
head spin
like i'uz
drinkin' White Lightnin'
(I ain't use to
much thinkin'
I confess it's
a mite fright'nin')
But you've stol
my poor heart
like that big
ol' tornader
that come
through last month
an' took off
with my trailer...
So I'll give
you sum candy an' flowers by the duz'n --
Heck, I'd
rather kiss you than my purt'iest cuz'n!
|
| If you tell the truth you
don't have to remember anything. |
| "Cowboy" to me is a way of
life, not how you dress, but who the good Lord made you from the moment
you were born. A different breed of person, a cowboy to me don't brag
and strut around but is soft spoken and speaks what he believes is
right. Never lets his buddies down in their time of need. |
Cowboy Wannabe
More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a
rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance.
"This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch
cows."
"I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the
lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
|
There was once an old-time
cowhand who ordered some toilet paper from a mail-order catalog. They
wrote back and requested that he look in his catalog to give them the
exact order number. He answered 'em right back and told them that if he
had their catalog, he sure wouldn't need the toilet paper.
|
| If you lend someone $20
and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. |
Back in the Old West three
Texas cowboys were about to be hung for cattle rustling. The lynch mob
brought
the three men to a tree right at the edge of the Rio Grande. The idea
was that when each man had died, they'd cut the rope and he'd drop into
the river and drift out of sight
They put the first cowboy
in the noose, but he was so sweaty and greasy he slipped out, fell in
the river and swam to freedom.
They tied the noose around
the second cowboy's head. He, too, oozed out of the rope, dropped into
the river and got away.
As they dragged the third
Texan to the scaffold, he resisted, "Please! Would yaw'l tighten that
noose a little bit? I can't swim!"
